25 years ago today

25 years ago I was told that I was going to be a Big Sister.  I was told this new title was an honor, and I wore my pride with a huge smile whenever I was asked about it.  I was told that my new brother or sister would love me and be my best friend. 

I remember the day that you were born.  I was only 3 1/2 years old but I knew you were coming and I was so excited to meet you.  When I went to the hospital, I got to sit on the bed next to Mom and hold you.  The smile on my face said it all. 

Do you know the picture I'm talking about...I'm holding you and Mom and Dad are around us?

You've grown into such an amazing man.  I look at you now and I still remember you as that baby, then as that little boy, then as that teenager.  That person that changed my life for the better 25 years ago today.

 

There is no one that can push my buttons quite like you can. 

We can still fight like we're children. 

There is no one who can love me quite like you can. 

We share our childhood.  Those memories are priceless. 

No matter where life leads us, I thank God everyday that you are my brother.

I love you, Casey.

Happy birthday!

God has a plan and Gram still has her spark

So last week my Grammy, who I absolutely adore (read here), was diagnosed with colon cancer. Although we all stayed outwardly positive and strong, the thought of battling more cancer seemed utterly unbearable. I've stayed quiet about this, not telling many people (although in a moment of weakness I confessed to my Twitter lovelies. PS - thank you for your constant love and support, friends.  *MUAH*). I kept mum because I wasn't sure how to process this information. I mean, with Sara Cate's diagnosis in September we had such a great outpouring of love, prayers and kindness. Not that I thought my Grammy didn't deserve it too, but I almost felt greedy asking for more emotional support from those around me. In addition, I was angry. Angry and sad. Bad combination. I could feel that veil of depression ready to pull me into a numb cocoon.

The emotional side of me was ready to explode while the rational side recited in my head, "We don't know enough information yet. Let the tests come back. Stay strong for those around you." Which is exactly what kept me going for the past week and a half.

Yesterday, Grammy had scans and tests done and met with a surgeon. Hubs and I met my Mom, Aunt and Gram for Chinese food once all the poking and prodding was complete. There was no mention of the dreaded C word, nothing out of the norm, although it was constantly on our minds. We wouldn't know the results of everything until this morning.

Driving home last night, I broke down a little. I pleaded to God. Please don't take her yet. I need her still. She needs to hold my babies.

I must have checked my phone 8 million times this morning before my mom text me with the news. Which, is GOOD news. Thanks be to God! The cancer has not spread. A tough surgery is ahead to remove the existing tumor, but after that? She has her life ahead of her. A long, healthy life. Did I mention my Great-Grandma lived to be 95?

And that is when the flood gates opened. All the anger, sadness, rage, tears came out in a snotty, wet, can't-catch-your-breath kind of mess. In the middle of my workplace. But after everything, I just didn't care. This was the rainbow after the storm. God has a plan.

God has a plan and Gram still has her spark. When the doctor tried to schedule her surgery for early next week, she responsed, "Nope, no way. I'm having Christmas Eve dinner for the family and will not miss it." (She'll need to be in the hospital for 4 or 5 days recovering after the surgery, which would cut into Christmas Eve and Christmas.) "This tumor has been here for so long (they think about 8 years) it can wait a few more days."

xoxo

Replay

What is currently stuck in my head (and has been for about a week straight)?

Yes, Bad Romance by Lady Gaga.

The problem is?  I'm not sure if I love or hate this song.  

It's definitely catchy....

What do you think?


xoxo

A Girl Can Dream A Little

So the life of a first year attorney and his wife is not always easy, financially speaking.  It's probably the biggest misconception when someone finds out Hubs is an attorney - that we're rolling in dough.  We have a lot of things to pay out on, just about as quickly as the money comes in.  (Note: I understand this is also called "being an adult" but these are newer payments that we are adjusting to, aka student loans.)  So I get my fix of all things beautiful, sparkly, designer, etc. from reading blogs. 

My point?

I'm thinking of doing a series with a fancy schmancy name like Wish List Wednesday or something equally annoying and yet catchy.  Something where I can devote a weekly post to things I'd love to have if I didn't have things to pay like a mortgage and said student loans.  Because, c'mon, a girl can drool dream a little, right?

So I introduce you to a few lovelies I've had my eye on:

A personalized myAgenda in Silver

(or as it is sold out, Carribean Sea)

Amy Butler for Welspun Towels

I love the paisley orange (3rd from left)

This little beauty from Etsy seller, GetNoticed

Sterling Crystal Clear Cocktail Ring

A nice mix of practical, functional and frivolous.  So tell me, friends.  What have you have your eye on lately?

xoxo

Payson, You Will Always Hold A Part Of Me

A week ago today, I rushed home from work to pack up our things and head out of town to Payson, Arizona to spend Thanksgiving with my parents, brother and girlfriend and my gram.  Oh, and did I mention two dogs and a cat?  It was going to be a full weekend in every sense of the word.


We pull into Payson at 8ish and headed for a little Mexican food restaurant which is both divey and wonderful at the same time.  $15 and full bellies later, we head to my parents home, unpack and relax.  Sounds divine, no?  Cue intense stomach pains at 3am.  I Google "food poisoning" in my spare time as I CANNOT SLEEP and immediately blame said divey Mexican restaurant.  The day goes by in a blur of pain.  


I wake on Friday morning hoping that the food poisoning (which I was assured was just a bad case of the stomach flu) had passed.  It had, for the most part, but an ache had settled in my right side.  I come up for breakfast hopeful that I'd be able to eat and salvage my weekend.  My dad (aka Emergency Room Doctor) pokes around and concludes a trip to the ER is in my near future.  By 2pm they had confirmed appendicitis and by 3pm I had my appendix removed.  


There are a few awesome parts of all of this:  1) my 3rd year medical student brother was able to stand in the OR with me and observe the surgery, 2) I was exonerated (I may have been called over-dramatic a time or two in my life *ahem*, but this time?  Hellz yes I really was in pain and not being a drama queen!) and 3) I was able to eat again.  In fact, by 8pm I was checked out and driven to (a different, not divey) Mexican food restaurant for Albondigas soup.  


The only crappy part was that my Thanksgiving weekend didn't really start until Saturday morning.  


So now I'm still recovering, although quite well.  It was a laparoscopic surgery so I only have 3 small incision points (one below my bikini line, one at my belly button and one below my ribs on my right).  And the good thing?  I never have to worry about my dang appendix again.  Oh, and the divey Mexican food restaurant was exonerated as well.  If you are ever driving through Payson, Arizona and have a taste for the most awesome burrito of your life, head to Alfonso's.  


Hope you all had a very Happy Thanksgiving! 


xoxo